How can we speak to children about racism?

If the next generation grow up understanding the history and the damaging effects that racism continues to have, then maybe they can collectively make a difference that previous generations haven’t been able to achieve. This conversation should be happening multiple times, at school/after school clubs etc… as well as at home. When approaching the conversation there is no one-size-fits-all approach, but there is one golden rule: The earlier in a child’s life you can start this conversation the better. 

Below is a suggested framework to follow to ensure this conversation can be had in an open, honest and encouraging way for both carers and children. 

1. Have the conversation with yourself first 
Many of us as adults may not have had this conversation with ourselves or even a family member so the first step is to have the difficult conversation. Find out what you may not know, or what you want to know, and then seek out the answers. Speak with other carers or teachers that you work with to see if your collective knowledge can help enhance your own learning of the subject. However, do not feel you need to become an expert in this subject. It is ok to say to children “that’s a great question, why don’t we find out a bit more about it together?!” It then becomes something you can do as a group and go on a learning journey together. 

2. Understand your position and privilege 
This kind of conversation will affect people differently. If you are from the BAME community then before bringing up this conversation, ensure you feel in a place where you are okay as it is much more likely to affect your mental health than those who have never had to deal with racism and discrimination before. 
If you are not black, don’t feel worried about bringing up the conversation. This conversation should be a rite of passage and a continuing conversation for all children. Before going into this conversation, you should ensure that you understand the importance that it has in society and how privileged you are that this conversation has not been something you have had to talk about for generations in your own family. Remember not having to constantly bring up this topic and speak about it is privilege in itself as it doesn’t play into your everyday life like it does for people from the BAME community or other minority groups. 
Not only should you take into consideration your heritage and background but also that of the children you are working with. What is the make-up of the class? Will some children be affected by this more than others? It will most likely be that there will be children in the class who have faced racism and or discrimination before. Ensure that these children and their parents are told that the conversation will be happening in advance so that they also have time to prepare for the conversation and how it may affect them.
 
3. Ensure safety 
It’s important to ensure that children feel safe to ask the questions they want to. As carers, we need to ensure that we let them know that it’s okay if they say something wrong when they are asking, that’s the whole point of having these conversations and learning. Embed the message that it’s great they want to learn and understand. Always ensure that these conversations are done in a positive way and that they are truly open and honest conversations. That’s the process of learning. 

4. Make it understandable and relatable 
This topic can seem overwhelming and difficult to explain but try and link it to what they can understand. Ensure you pitch the conversation at a level they understand. For instance, discrimination might seem too overwhelming to explain, but you could try explaining it as bullying. Bullying just because of someone’s colour of their skin, where their family is from or their culture - make it relevant to their age and understanding. Try and embed the message that regardless of skin colour, heritage or culture no one should be treated differently. Learning about other people’s heritage and culture will enhance children’s lives and make them much more rounded individuals.   

5. See colour 
Some white people, myself included, have thought “oh I have friends who are black and I don’t see them as any different” but that is one of the most common errors. We need to see colour. In order to understand the true hardship and suffering they have been through and the sheer privilege that others have been afforded, we need to see race. Having the choice to not think about the colour of your skin or your heritage is not a luxury that people from the black community or other minority groups have. 

6. Showcase role models and bring this into your everyday life 
This should be an ongoing conversation. We all know that to get something to stick with children it takes multiple attempts. Ensure that throughout the time you are caring for them or teaching them that you are showcasing people who are from these communities, embedding the message that we can all achieve the same and should be treated the same. 

7. How these subjects are covered in everyday aspects of your home life 
Actively diversify any books you may read with children. In 2019 only 5% of children’s books had a lead ethnic minority character yet 33.5% of the school population are from ethnic minorities (CLPE 2019). This will help more subtly, and with frequency, to bypass any harmful stereotypes and ensure that from a young age they have positive views of different types of people. They will also grow up knowing society including everyone, and as such enhance their lives by learning from people who may not look the same as them or come from the same heritage as them. 

Behavioural science says that as early as 18 months -3 years old, children understand where they fit in society. We can influence that to be a positive understanding versus one of misguided privilege. Don’t wait until they are older when some harmful stereotypes may have already set in. I encourage you to teach children these messages now so that they become ambassadors and help other children who may not be having these conversations or are themselves struggling with these issues. 

If each and every one of us takes on this responsibility to teach these lessons to children, then I believe that collectively the next generation can make a positive social difference that our generations haven’t been able to achieve. 

Esther Marshall is a diversity and inclusion writer, mental health activist and the author of the The Sophie Says children’s books series – which make life’s most important lessons fun to learn.

 

The views expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of Morton Michel.