Understanding Self and Co-Regulation

Introduction

What do we mean by the terms self and co-regulation?

Self-regulation is the ability to regulate thoughts, emotions and behaviour. Like many other areas of development, this is something that has to be learnt and supported over time. Children need to learn to cope with frustration, control impulses and understand the consequences of their actions. Self-regulation skills help us to interact with others, control and adjust our behaviour, think, plan and solve problems. However, the term ‘self-regulation’ can be misleading because children cannot learn to regulate their behaviour and emotions by themselves. They need the adults and caregivers involved in their early years, to co-regulate with them. Co-regulate means to have intentional interactions with children to support them in difficult and tricky situations. When an adult co-regulates, they are caring, responsive, and acceptive.

Since the reforms of the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) in 2021 the Early Leaning Goals (ELGs) for Personal, Social and Emotional Development (PSED) are Self-regulation, Managing self, and Building relationships. Therefore, it is important that Early Years practitioners understand self-regulation and how they support young children to achieve their goals.

Key components to self-regulation:

• Emotional Regulation: The ability to recognise, understand, and manage one's own emotions. For young children, this might involve learning to calm down when upset or to express feelings in appropriate ways.

• Behavioural Regulation: The capacity to control one's actions and impulses, especially in social contexts. This includes skills such as waiting for a turn, following rules, and adjusting behaviour to different situations.

• Cognitive Regulation: Also known as executive function, this includes skills such as paying attention, planning, problem-solving, and remembering instructions. It helps children to think before they act and to stay focused on a task.

• Physiological Regulation: The ability to manage physiological responses to stress, such as heart rate and breathing. This can also involve self-soothing techniques and understanding bodily needs e.g., hunger, tiredness.

As we mentioned in the introduction, children are not born with regulation skills, they need to to be learnt and as they they learn, connections will be made in their brain for self-regulation and resilience. Babies can start making these connections from birth and in the early days benefit from a tuned-in adult who will help calm them when they are feeling tired, hungry, thirsty or afraid and lonely. As babies grow older, they begin to understand and accept that their discomfort will be relieved when their needs are promptly addressed. This establishes positive foundations of self-regulation.

As babies transition to the toddler phase, they strive for independence and start to assert their own ideas. However, they easily become frustrated due to lack of language and being unable to express themselves. During this time, they need their caregiver’s support to help them understand these overwhelming feelings and learn how to manage them. Toddlers need their adult to help keep them emotionally and physically safe. Adults can play a crucial role in helping children feel emotionally and physically safe, by remaining calm and demonstrating effective coping strategies. In doing this, we can prevent exacerbating their strong emotions. It is essential to teach children at this age to understand and articulate their feelings verbally instead of expressing them through physical actions. Consistency and adherence to established rules are vital during this stage of their development.

As children mature, their communication skills improve as does their emotional behaviour and patience. These skills will enable them to interact with others socially and enjoy building friendships. They will develop a sense of self, forming likes and dislikes and be able to share.

Strategies for promoting self-regulation

In early childhood education, promoting self-regulation involves creating a supportive and structured environment where children can practice these skills. Strategies include:

• Modeling and Teaching: Demonstrating appropriate emotional and behavioural responses, and teaching children about emotions and coping strategies.

• Consistent Routines: Providing predictable schedules and clear expectations/ boundaries to help children feel secure and understand what is expected of them.

• Positive Reinforcement: Encouraging desired behaviours through praise, which helps children understand and repeat positive actions.

• Mindfulness and Relaxation: Activities like deep breathing, yoga, or quiet time can help children learn to calm their bodies and minds.

How can practitioners help children to co-regulate?

Problem-Solving Opportunities: Allowing children to face manageable challenges and guiding them through the process of finding solutions. Co-regulation refers to the supportive process through which a caregiver helps a child learn to manage their emotions and behaviours. It is an essential concept in early childhood development, especially for younger children who are still developing their self-regulation skills. Co-regulation involves:

• Responsive Interactions: The caregiver responds to the child's needs and cues in a sensitive and timely manner, providing comfort, reassurance, and guidance.

• Modeling: The caregiver demonstrates appropriate ways to manage emotions and behaviours, showing the child how to cope with challenges and regulate themselves.

• Guidance and Support: The caregiver provides direct support and strategies to help the child navigate their emotional experiences, such as helping them calm down when they are upset or assisting them in problem-solving.

• Consistent Presence: The caregiver's consistent availability and reliability help the child feel secure, which is foundational for developing self-regulation skills.

• Creating a Safe Environment: Ensuring the child feels safe and understood, which reduces stress and allows the child to focus on learning self-regulation skills.

Examples of co-regulation in practice include:

• Soothing a Distressed Child: When a child is upset, a caregiver might hold them, speak in a calm voice, and help them take deep breaths to calm down.

• Guiding Through Problem-Solving: If a child is frustrated by a challenging task, the caregiver might guide them step-by-step through the process, offering encouragement and suggestions.

• Setting and Explaining Boundaries: Helping a child understand rules and expectations by explaining the reasons behind them and gently reminding them as needed.

Co-regulation is crucial for laying down the groundwork for children to develop self-regulation. Through repeated co-regulation experiences, children learn to adopt and internalise these techniques independently. Through learning these skills, they will become more aware and manage their own emotions. Coping strategies for dealing with stress and frustration will start to be acquired and they will be more able to respond to the emotions of others. Co-regulation also helps children to feel safe and secure and encourages the development of trust.

Conclusion

Helping children develop self-regulation skills in the Early Years is crucial for success in school and to prepare children for life. It teaches them the strategies to negotiate and cope with the rollercoaster ride that life can take us on. Being able to accept that their needs may not always be met immediately, to communicate and interact with others enabling them to form friendships, share experiences and negotiate with others when people do not necessarily share the same views and opinions are all part of the necessary skills needed in later life.

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Please note, the information in this article is provided by Childminding UK and does not represent the views or opinions of Morton Michel.